When I met my husband, we celebrated Christmas every year with all kids and both our moms. When his mom passed in 2011, we continued to celebrate Christmas. My mom passed in 2017 and that was the first Christmas I felt torn. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate, and my husband decided we were done with Christmas dinners at our place because he had only been doing it for the moms. My daughter, however, adores Christmas and invited us. I didn't want to go, but didn't want to disappoint her, so we went. My husband didn't want to go, period. The next year, I invited the kids for coffee and cake, but every year my daughter invited us for dinner, my husband said no and I felt torn. Only yesterday I took a stand and made a decision which suits ME, and I could feel the stress leaving my body. Hopefully I will not feel torn next year, because I made sure everyone knew this is a decision which will last for as many years as I want it.